I want to start off by saying that this post was not scheduled for today. I have a content calendar, and for the most part I stick to it. But God has a funny way of working sometimes, and today, He said, “Shannon, save the makeup post for another day. Today you’re going to write this instead. ” So…here we are.
Growing up I distinctly remember my third-grade teacher asking the infamous question, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” I always hated that question. I hated it when she asked it (although, I did very much like her). And I still do. It’s asked a little differently now. Today it’s more like “What do you plan to do after college?” Or…what they really mean, “Do you have a plan at all?”
And my answer today is still the same as it was in 3rd grade, though I don’t always say it out loud, because I know it isn’t what they want to hear. It isn’t typical, it isn’t mainstream, it isn’t what society says I’m supposed to say. But there’s something about that child-like, innocent, real answer that still inspires me today. So, my simple answer is...
I want to change the world.
That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing, that’s why I’m still here posting on this little platform four years later, after the beauty blog I thought I wanted to create had failed. This is why, even when the follower count doesn’t grow, or the posts don’t go viral, I don’t care, and I keep sharing my heart here for you to see. This simple yet so complex phrase is what fuels me up and motivates me day in and day out.
And I know, it sounds like a big thing. But don’t we all change the world in some way? Big or small? The truth is, I won’t cure cancer or perform any life-saving procedures in my life (I can barely look at a scratch on my own skin). I won’t discover a new planet or life form way out there in space. I won’t make any significant advancement in math or science or any other academic fields. I won’t. I won’t change the world in big ways like that, because my gifts are different. God blessed me in a different way, a way in which with my words, with my actions, with my everyday life, I can change the world smile by smile just a little at a time. And, that is absolutely more than okay with me.
I simply just want to encompass love. Jesus-died-on-the-cross, indescribable, unwavering, terrifying, never perfect, always beautiful, infinite LOVE. And I want everyone around me to feel it, I mean really feel it. And when I say everyone, I really mean everyone. I recently have become infatuated with the concept of God’s love for us, the idea that the way He loves me or you is no different than the inmate in a jail cell or the criminal on the street. His love for His children is equal. And friend, I strive to love like that, and I sure hope you do too. When I walk into a room, when I call you up on the phone, when I strike up a conversation with a stranger at the grocery store, I want them, I want you, to feel it. I want anyone who ever crosses their paths with mine to feel loved by me, through Him. And my hope is that this love can help you or someone else in some small way.
Now, please don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying I’m the prime example of any of this, I surely am not. I am a Christian, but I am also a big time sinner. I struggle each and every day. I am so imperfect and so unlike Him in so many ways. I’m still working through this, and I will be for the rest of my days. But I’m moving forward, I’m listening to His call, and I’m striving each and every day to become more and more like Him. And I’m going to keep being real about that.
So yes, I want to change the world. Probably not in big ways, but maybe in small ones. I want to share this $17 sweater I snagged in the sale section at Nordstrom if that’s what brightens your day. I want to make you laugh once in a while at the bad jokes and embarrassing stories I share. I want to inspire you when there’s something missing in your heart.
And from time to time, I want to make you ask the hard questions, the earth-shattering, life-altering, this-changed-my-life-type of questions. I want to be transparent with my flaws and open about my struggles, in hopes that it can give you peace in your own trials of life. I want to change your world, little by little, even if you don’t notice that it's happening.
I want to do it because it’s what He sent me here to do. He sent me here to love and that ’s exactly what I’m going to do. And for some reason, a reason I still don’t understand, this is how He is calling me to do it.
So that’s why. That’s what I want to do, not when I grow up, but now.